Just when you thought it was safe to put away the heavy coats, Mother Nature has decided to remind us who’s boss. Meteorologists are forecasting an imminent cold snap that promises to bring temperatures colder than your ex’s heart.
The upcoming freeze is expected to shatter records, with temperatures plunging to levels that make Antarctica look like a tropical paradise. Residents are advised to stock up on essentials: hot cocoa, fuzzy socks, and a Netflix subscription robust enough to withstand a weekend binge.
Local hardware stores report a run on snow shovels and ice melt, while fashion retailers are seeing a spike in sales of anything resembling a parka. “It’s like Black Friday, but colder,” remarked one store manager.
So, as the chill sets in, remember the sage advice of winter veterans: layer up, stay indoors, and for the love of all things warm, don’t lick any metal poles.
